girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
do nipples grow back?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
