Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
