We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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