If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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