im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize