my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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