so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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