Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Holy shit dude........stairs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
