belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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