He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
