just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
