I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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