What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
