What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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