Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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