whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
