This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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