I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
