Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
