I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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