omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
