I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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