Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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