Sry I called you an 8
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
