let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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