I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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