You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
