nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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