The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize