Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
