the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
