so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
