Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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