I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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