Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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