...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
