Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
