so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
