so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
