i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
