Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
