her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
