I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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