i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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