I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize