Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
