I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
