hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
