i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
