Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
