I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
