So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
