Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
