i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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